March 2011 saw the fourteenth episode of Season 15 of Thomas & Friends...
...but before the review, the usual disclaimer:
The views below are entirely those of the author and not representative of the Sodor Island Forums as a whole.
On that note, it's time to get this review underway...
Opposites attract, but will this episode?
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Stuck On You
Writer: Sharon Miller
Thomas meets Butch, who has a magnet attached to his crane arm. However, he and Butch do not listen to Victor about how to use the magnet.
Overall Impressions
There are quite a few things which are sticking with me this series.
Firstly - sorry Greg! - no brakevans to be seen anywhere. Please, please, please just add them in on the end of goods trains. Just one van. That's all it takes to make the trains prototypical and realistic.
That's it. My only criticism of the animation this series which has any seriousness associated with it. Fourteen episodes so far, and whilst there have been little niggles here and there, the animation and artistic direction has been brilliant. Take a bow Mr Tiernan & Co - Nitrogen Studios have done a fabulous job this season.
Just bring back the brakevans, okay?
So, where to start with today's writing. Do I start with the horrendous alliteration and rhyming again?
Perhaps I could point out that the word special ceases to be "special" if it becomes normal.
How many episodes this season, have we heard the word "special" used, and in the context of an engine making a "special" delivery/trip/run/etc, hmmm? How many of these fourteen episodes is directly attributable to the word "special"?
Then we have the actual plot itself. Never mind the fact that apparently all roads and rail lines run parallel to each other, or that there's not a single obstacle between Thomas and Butch when they are rolling along, stuck together. The biggest question I have is...
...how, when they get to the Steamworks, do they get up to the doors, when Butch is too wide for the traverser unit Thomas must puff over?
That's before I have started on how they got to the front of the traverser, without getting wrapped around one of the many yard lights that we can see between the rails of the Steamworks!
Yet I am reading comments on YouTube and other blogs, declaring this episode as "one of the best all time episodes". Sorry to bring you all back down to earth, but did you stop and think about way the story developed? Making two to three mistakes, learning it doesn't work, and needing someone else to tell you how to do things?
James to the Rescue, anyone?
I'm frankly disgusted at the sheer audacity of the writing team this season. With each and every new episode, I have felt that the formulaic, predictable cut and paste nature became more an argument for better writers, and not the result of anyone in the writing team having their hands tied down to presumed political correctness or daft guidelines imposed by a tyrannical set of executives.
There is simply no way that the level of writing in this series is acceptable. I find myself more and more furious at the situation.
We have so many young writers, fresh out of university, (myself included) who can and do write better stories than any of this - and I kid you not, there is definitely a queue of people waiting to send a few sample scripts and their CVs to HiT Entertainment, the moment a writing position is advertised.
These people are meant to be professionals. The stories we have seen this season are anything but. They are all the same basic story, with characters switched around, and vast amounts of new and therefore shiny and appealing characters/objects thrown around to try and plaster up the cracks in the production.
I've heard the excuses given, and to be frank I think they are just that: excuses for a poor standard of writing that has been perpetuated for far too long.
When we look back at this particular season in the future, it will either be one of two things - the beginning of the end for Thomas & Friends as a reputable, educational and entertaining brand name for children - or it will be the turning point, where the higher ups said, firmly, "enough" to mediocre, poorly researched, and poorly written stories.
If not, then this descent into madness - whereby all roads and railway lines sit next to each other for mile upon mile of tack, without any obstacles that might cause a steam engine and a pickup truck to come to grief, will be perpetuated long into the future.
Final Conclusions You would be forgiven for thinking that my rather furious review above has some actual venom behind it. Well, it has. I am spitting nails. I have been reading scores and descriptions of this episode today which range from "9/10 OMG butch amazing" to "rosie said something, 10000/10" .
Far be it from me to label the entire fandom as fanboys, but...
No really. A couple of new characters make cameos, older characters get one line entrances and do nothing, and you give these unbelievably bad stories, praise and thanks beyond all high heaven!
I am therefore grateful to see a select few lone voices on Youtube and the Sodor Island Forums stepping up and saying "actually, this wasn't that good".
It's a bit like The Emperor's New Clothes. Everyone is tricked into believing something is amazing, and you have the little child at the back pointing out that the person in question is actually not wearing anything.
These stories have significant problems at a very basic level. Plots which make little sense, go nowhere, and achieve nothing. Extremely broken morals that aren't suitable for children.
Dialogue so unnatural and forced that it makes each and every scene a cringing mess of alliterative froth.
New characters forced into new locations and specifically centered on instead of the older Awdry creations, used as also rans.
The only comfort I can take from the failings of Thomas & Friends this series, is that more people might tune in to my own work on Youtube instead of it. That's my (incredibly cynical) view at present, and it's no doubt shared with glee by the makers of other, larger and more powerful, rival Children's programmes. Such as Chuggington.
If I can compare Thomas & Friends to a gourmet dish from an expensive restaurant...
Imagine, a sea of scallops, on a bed of saffron rice, served in a brandy sauce, with a twist of fennel.
Now look down at your plate and notice that your scallops, the meat of the dish, have been replaced with quorn.
Not only will it taste horrendous, but that beautifully dry brandy sauce and exquisite saffron rice will have gone to waste.
For shame.
Individual Episode Score: 2/10 - Gordon and Ferdinand 4/10 - Toby and Bash 3/10 - Emily and Bash 5/10 - Edward The Hero 1/10 - James to the Rescue 2/10 - Happy Hiro 1/10 - Up, Up and Away! 3/10 - Henry's Happy Coal 2/10 - Let It Snow 2/10 - Surprise, Surprise 4/10 - Spencer the Grand 3/10 - Stop That Bus! 2/10 - Stuck on You
Total Season Score So Far: 35/140
Average Season Score So Far: 2.5/10
Quick Character Stats
Speaking Roles:
Thomas, Rosie, Butch, The Fat Controller, Harold, Rocky, Victor, Kevin, Captain
Cameos:
James, Den & Dart, Edward, Belle, Gordon
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